Okay, here’s what’s wrong with this headcanon.
1. The whole “MALES ARE STRONG BUT FEMALES ARE SCHEMERS!!! WOW!!” Aradia ISN’T A SCHEMING WOMAN. I don’t understand where you got that idea from. Is it because she acts in a not horribly vile way? Or is it because when she first showed up, she didn’t show much emotion? You know, because she had trouble expressing emotions due to the whole being dead/being a robot thing? Did you miss the part where she cares A LOT for her friends, so much so that it leads to her own death? I dunno, if she was a ~schemer~ as you so put it, wouldn’t she have seen that coming?? Also the point about Equius protecting a ~scheming~ Nepeta is wrong because WHEN DOES NEPETA EVER SCHEME ANYTHING? Also, we don’t really see Equius ever physically protecting her, just saying “hey don’t do this thing” “hey don’t do that thing”, so strength doesn’t factor into it in the slightest.
2. The idea that gay relationships aren’t a real ideal thing because of movie posters.
FUCKING.
MOVIE.
POSTERS.
Do you think that, when designing that, Hussie said “hmm im going to choose only heterosexual couples, proving that trolls are straight!” No! What he probably did is searched “romantic comedy” on Google Image Search and then trollified the posters he got. Besides, last I heard, there weren’t really a lot of extremely popular gay romantic comedies, unfortunately.
3. The idea that homosexual relationships are considered a ~wish for excitement~ rather than actual sexual tendencies. I just, wow, I mean, how wrong can you possibly be? Did you completely miss the whole “trolls are pansexual” thing or the numerous amount of same-sex crushes and subtext and stuff? Wow.
4. Using Vriska<>Kanaya as unstable, because they’re women. NO THAT’S NOT WHY IT WAS UNSTABLE YOU PRAT, IT WAS UNSTABLE BECAUSE VRISKA LEGITIMATELY THOUGHT KANAYA WAS PALE FOR HER, BUT KANAYA WAS STRUGGLING WITH FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR VRISKA, NOT BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID ~MANIPULATION~ SHIT.
5. wow, haha, “men need to protect women!!!” get your sexism the fuck out of my homestuck just fyi THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE GIRL IN THIS SERIES WHO NEEDS PROTECTION OH MY GOD
6. this headcanon is just a pile of poop
7. just one big pile of cissexist, homophobic pile of poop
8. seriously anon if gay relationships make you so uncomfortable that you have to make a giant headcanon about ~why gay relationships in homestuck can’t be real~ then what on earth are you doing reading homestuck
thank you oh my fucking god this headcanon is such bullshit for So Many Fucking Reasons
YES THANK YOU I saw this headcanon the other day and thought it made the LEAST sense and was also totally awful.
Do you even go here get out
(Source: homestuckheadcanons)
